This show pulls no punches.  It does, however, pull a few slaps and one nasty scratch on the cheek.  Listen and see.  Give it a taste.  It's in Smell-O-Vision.  But that could be the dog.

You try writing these pithy descriptions week after week.  

And I'l try listening to this show, in which I'll hear.

Maraca Vamps on Her Wrong Foot—Who doesn’t like maracas?

Foster Talent: Biff is Happy But...—Our most favorite talent agent Foster Valley meets with Happy Tooman, an old associate, who has an idea for a project Foster won’t like which has a role Happy shouldn’t play.

Hobnobbin’—R U Hobnobbin’?

Toasting Bread—Who doesn’t like toast?

Extend-a-Dream—Keep your eyes shut and nobody gets hurt

Warning: There are hidden messages inside.  Do not attempt to listen to them.  Have an explanation ready to go.  Not a flimsy excuse.  

The Line Up

• Let Snot Argue--walking it off
• The Missouri Compromise--history in the making
• First Day--it's a job
• Johnny Takes a Test--what did he get for number three?
• Herpes--get the gift card!
• Johnny Takes Pills--self-medicating
• Once a Path, Now a Way to Get Lost--history in the walking
• That And--what you get for the money
• Basik Karpentry--when Swedes use tools, things get built

Eight pieces in one podcast!!

WrongFoot Navy—an honor to serve

Marshall Brody—Western theme

Foster Talent: Larry Derek Part 1—Foster gives a client a chance to get some exposure

Spraythewalk—no spaces tween words means itz what it iz

Alcapulco Accapella—the sea, the surf, the sound of the 50s

Foster Talent: Johnny Lang—Foster gives a newcomer the time of day

Foster Talent: Larry Derek Part 2—A client gives Foster a piece of his mind, 10%.

Sheriff Wilson—another Western theme

A Show Biz Saga with talent agent Foster Valley ...

He’s the man behind Foster Talent, which is what it is and what it does.  He’s the man in front as well, helped only by a series of assistants he seems to find from an inbred pool of talent.  He can work both ends of the street and stay out of traffic at the same time.  The street being Broadway or Hollywood Boulevard or Madison Avenue or the Information Superhighway or Rue de Croissant (his favorite bakery).  His clients love him or have no other way to turn.  Either way, he says “there’s an ‘us’ in show business and that’s the two of me and you and make sure you leave a space between ‘an’ and ‘us’.”  

In this chapter, all the world's a mall, and Foster had a gig for actor Richard Desmond that should have been a great fit, but it almost inspired Desmond to give up sew show business.  It's a lot of hemming, but little hawing as the Bard meets his tailor.  Did Richard become a big (and tall) man about it or did the classically-trained thespian leave everyone in stitches?  

So, all hail the Merchant of Ridgedale!  And nothing else.

Stump the Other Mouse -- When the irreplaceable little vermine star has an unfortunate accident, his handlers hustle to find a reasonable facsimile and in the end the long-shot plan comes through.  

And then,

BullitPoint--High Caliber Presentations

What happens when Hollywood's favorite live-action rodent has one too many meeting to go to?

This is what happens.

The first podcast devoted exclusively to this sort of thing.

After we hear The Wrong Foot Song, which will get you going in a bad way, we head over to Easy Street, where location is everything and it goes without saying.  

Then we look For a Tat.  It's the skin trade and even Steven is even.

Next it's a little More Than Usual, that is, the same as different, only this time it changed.

Finally it all comes together on the See Saw Sex Toy, a balancing act for those who won't swing.  Or slide, either.

And it's Free.

When Mr. Golden checked in to The Happy Ho(t)Spice, he had no intention of leaving before check-out time, following his last meal and his final words, again.  And again.  And again.  When is he going to finally take some of his own advice?  

Mean while, Wrong Fook delivers us from confooshun, Daddy Dropped Something—and he doesn’t want to pick it up and Sleep (is) Replaced By Words for the slumber party.

What happens when a place for dying gets a second chance for life?  

Other stuff, too.  

Grenkland’s Lawn Care -- where staying green is better than turning brown -- presents Wrong Foot the Bill, a true adventure in settling up, brought to you by Giant Check Bank -- the large bank for big customers having immense deposits.  

Wishing you and yours, them and those and all the others a happy holiday time. 

May all your bills be filed and your backyard photosynthesize into a plush area while at the same time, your liquid assets bubble with interest. 

And, thanks to Walter Odington and his brother for that moment of murmuring.

Every night millions upon millions of boys and girls go to sleep with hopes that a special visitor will find her or her way to their bedroom.  As they lay their little heads on their little pillows, they cut their little cheese, knowing it will all be put to good use.   

Uncivil Disobedience (Gandhi talks, but so do others.)

Various Cups (Generously offered.)

We Have Clothes (Who doesn't?)

What If You Could Have ... (Well?)

What's Chewing? (Or who?)

Who's Talking? (Self-Representation)

Uncivil Disobedience Part 2 (To make a long story short.)

Wiping (But, it's not what you think.)

In the first part (EP073), talent agent, Foster Valley presents a novel idea for a film part to his most delicious client.  Despite push back, not to mention veal piccata, Foster doesn't chicken out, he negotiates the crap out of a deal with some tough cookie and then makes sure it hits the fan. 

Is he rewarded?  No, he has to scramble, cajole, hornswoggle, plead and asks nicely so that Lydia Linda Lorna gets the appropriate exposure and the food stays warm.  

Talent agent Foster Valley wants to take his loveliest client to lunch so he can serve up what he thinks is good news.  When Foster spills the beans to Lydia Linda Lorna about the opportunity he has for her, Lydia explains that she doesn't like beans.  

To celebrate his working anniversary, Rocky always does something that gets him suspended for a few days, sort of an unpaid vacation.  In the last installment of this mini-series, Rocky makes his getaway plan by cutting through corporate red tape, using an Edward Sissorshand to give change from the tollbooth.  Roger has a plan, too. 

Roger and Rocky explain some of the mysteries about podcasts in 'Roger and Rocky Explain Podcasts', which also includes another Wrong Foot Promo Preview.  

Then you'll hear Roger's debut as a non-toll taking actor in the first of many 'Act Along Withs …', our interactive feature where you get to interact along with our talented cast.  They say their lines and you say yours, following along in the 'Act Along With …' script that came with the Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast membership kit.  Give it a try.  Who knows, maybe someday, someone will act along with you?

Rocky:   I remember like it was yesterday.  I was working at the Figtown Ferry Bridge and the boss comes over and says they're trading me to another toll booth.  I said, what?  He said they made a deal with the Turnpike Authority.  The NE Regional Highway Interchange, which operated the Figtown Ferry Bridge independently, was going to get Myra Fontaine and I was going over to Exit 21 because it was going to get EZ Passed.

Toll takers Rocky and Roger become the stars of their very own reality show, entitled "We Take Tolls", an in-depth look at the lives of two guys who take tolls, their hopes, their fears, their dreams, their tears, the cars, the lanes, the booths, the change baskets, the good times, the bad times, the whole thing.  Not to be confused with the podcasts of the same name, i.e., "We Take Tolls", that do the very same thing, because you can hear the podcasts, whereas the reality show is not really a TV show, so don't check your local TV listings, but do check your podcast listings, listen to the podcasts and that should clear things up.

Welcome to Exit 21, in which toll takers, Roger and Rocky learn they must be nice to the cars and the drivers inside the cars.

Roger:  (Reading) … in our on-going efforts to enhance the driving experience of our drivers …

Rocky: As opposed to who?  Our non-drivers.

Roger:  (Reading)  … and to promote the driving enhancements of our surrounding environments ...

Rocky: As opposed to what?  Our non-surrounding environments?

Roger: (Reading) The test pilot program …

Rocky: We're testing pilots?

Roger: (Reading) … will provide essential data …

Rocky: As opposed to what?  Non-essential data?

Roger:  (Reading) … which will enable a thorough analysis …

Rocky: As opposed to what?

Roger: A non-thorough analysis?  (Reading) Vee-ah.

Rocky: Vie-ah.

Roger: Vee-ah.

Rocky: Vie-ah.

Roger: Vee-ah.

Rocky: Vie-ah.  As in Vaya Con Dios.

Roger: Vee-ah as in Vee Ah.

Rocky: Vee a good boy and say Vie-ah.

Roger:  (Reading) Via alternating, but concurring lane samples.

Rocky: Again?

Roger: (Reading) …via alternating, but concurring lane samples.

Rocky: Ah.

Roger: (Reading) For example, odd numbered lanes will offer the following greeting:  'Thank you and welcome to Exit 21'.  Even numbered lanes will offer the following greeting.  'Thank you and enjoy the remainder of your journey.'

Rocky: What was that translated from, Korean?

Roger: (Reading) This program will commence implementation on the immediate occurrence of assigned shifts and will conclude at the termination of the program.

In this episode from the days when Podcasting was King, the Toll guys are on the night shift, because some people drive without sunshine.  Not much to do this time of night, so Rocky gets Roger to play fantasy football using passing cars to determine the plays.  Sounds like fun, right?  No?  What does it sound like? 

Come back to the days, when Podcasting was King!

It was old-tyme podcasting with mom, dad and the kids crowded around the podcasting machine to listen to a cavalcade of podcasts together.  These were the podcasts of yesteryear.  Oh, those podcasting days!  And for those who heard these podcasts back in the day, it will be like a return to a simpler time, only with a new re-mastered mix.  For those hearing these for the first time, it will be different. 

In other words, we're replaying the six-part, in-depth, hands-on, no-spin series paying tribute at fifty cents an axle to those hard-working people who take your money when you drive your car on roads that are not free.

It seems like only yesterday or maybe it was August,
when we first heard the adventures of
two men stuck in their lanes with on-coming traffic
and no one to turn to, but each other.  

They held out their hands and people put coins in them and then
waited for change and on a rare occasion, a receipt.  
They were Roger and Rocky and they took tolls.  
They stood in a booth as life passed by.  

In this episode, Rocky tries to get Roger
to admit his failings as a human being, which can only
be corrected by following Rocky’s advice to venture into
new territory with a scheme to start
a pet identification company that leaves a
permanent mark on animals.  
Will Roger recognize the potential of this plan?
Or will he follow his fears and remain under
the thumb of his wife?  

It was just supposed to be dinner, but then it became dinner and a podcast.

You are who you eat as well as who you listen to, so here's a great way to kill two birds with one stone, which I've tried and the second bird just took off.  But that has nothing to do with this.  This is Dinner and a Podcast.

When Willard Jikes chose to treat small pets only in his veterinary practice, he had no idea the market for this specialty was smaller than the creatures he was trying to care for and thus finds himself in dire straights.  All the growling in the office is coming from his stomach and he must make a desperate choice to survive when a little piggy shows him that all is not lost, just a bit from the hind-quarters.  

Pierre Vuilleumier makes his Wrong Foot debut in this heart (and chop) warming tale.

This podcast started as ONE THING, when Mr. French went to the doctor and then there was the therapy session where Richard talked about all the voices he's been hearing.  Suddenly it Ended as SOMETHING ELSE with P(lastic) S(torage) C(ontainer) M(atch) D(ot) C(om).  

P(lastic) S(torage) C(ontainer) M(atch) D(ot) C(om)?

You know, where tops meet bottoms and all the freshness gets locked in?

Vetting is a process of examination and evaluation, generally referring to performing a background check on someone before offering them employment, conferring an award, etc. A prospective person or project may be vetted before making a hiring decision. In addition, in intelligence gathering, assets are vetted to determine their usefulness.[1]

Politicians are often thoroughly vetted. For example, in the United States, a party's presidential nominee must choose a vice-presidential candidate to accompany them on the ticket. Prospective vice-presidential candidates must undergo thorough evaluation by a team of advisers acting on behalf of the nominee.  In later stages of the vetting process, the team will examine such items as a prospective vice-presidential candidate's finances, personal conduct, and previous coverage in the media.[2]

In this politically-charged drama, the Senator and his sons have some questions to answer about their behavior.  What happened?  Who saw it?  What did you do?  What were you wearing? In the end, the truth leaks out and everyone cleans up nicely.   A lesson to be learned, but a hard one to study for.[3]

1. "Vetted Law & Legal Definition". USLegal.com. Retrieved 2012-11-07. (Wikipedia)

2. Smith, Ben (March 8, 2007). "Richardson Defense Raises Questions". Politico.com. (Wikipedia)

3. Totally made up.

I'm Robin Brecker and I approved this message.   

R. U. Ready?   Here.

M. I. Here?   I am here.

Will U. Listen?

Will U. Listen?

Ayn Rand? Heir.

Grant Stoom?

Last time you heard clips from shows 1 through 23, ending right before 'Nountown', the nine-part quasi-epic elongated mini-series of suspense and intrigue.  But instead of picking it up where we left off, we’re going in reverse, running the show clips backwards.  So you’ll hear clips from the most recent shows first, while they’re still fresh in your memory and then it will be like going back in time and meeting show 24, the 'Nountown' preview and who knows maybe we’ll change the course of history or marry our mother.

One year ago, plus one day, there was no Wrong Foot. 

There was a foot, but it wasn’t wrong. 

Now there is a foot that’s wrong and it’s one year old. 

In dog paw years, that’s 1.6. 

We’ve produced 58 shows and to honor them, we are going to play each and every one.   But just a little bit.  To give you a taste of what they were.  An after taste.  Like acid reflux.  Know what’s worse than acid reflux.  Acid reflux flashback.  So don’t eat the brown acid OR the ravioli.  But we digest.  

Shhhh! now really means Shhhhhhh!

Due to unfortunate technical difficulties, The Podcast of Silence was not.

Workers spent a long weekend working on a solution to the problem and now it is.  

We apologize for any inconveniences or displacements. 

Shhh.

SHHHH!

SHHHH, DAMMITT!

That's better.

You are about to hear Wrong Foot Comedy Episode 56, entitled, Legal Ease.  And while it may refer to a certain law firm, that law firm is in no way associated with the law firm that is referred to in the episode and the artists who perform in this episode are in no way associated with the law firm nor do they have any relatives that may work or have ever worked at the law firm.   If you agree and understand with the above, please indicate by initialing here.______   And here._____

This Week's Special Offer -- Buy One, Get Two!

"I go to the House of Tongs for all my tongs!"

J.A., Elmwood

"I love the way the House of Tongs arranges all the tongs!"

B.B.D., Realto Village

"The House of Tongs is my one-stop shop for tongs!"

K.A., Elmwood

Use Promo Code URET4590393823352TjEFE^ed092adfaDFASDKJFSEJEKJHFLKJe3ekad!

Today!

a spécial présentation courtesy of:

Flaymore & Branagin & Willoughby & Trellman & Flaggner-Brown

And don't forget to stay-tuned for a special courtroom report.

I know, it's usually Boots 'n Bags, but not this time.  This time it's Bags 'n Boots.

BAGS

"All right, people, we’ve got a big job ahead of us.  We need to rewrite the copy on our plastic shopping bags." 

"What’s wrong with what he have?"

"Thank You For Shopping With Us?  What does that say about our bags?"

BOOTS

Well, my cowboy boots came today.  I’m here to say, I’m here to say.

I’ve been waiting 45 years.  They came today.  

Brought to you by Flem, so thick your spoon will stand up.

Angry Looking--but gentle to the touch

More Flem, Ma

Grandma Who?--one senior's search for a handle

Sleep in Overrated--zzzzzzzzz

Kens Keyboards--just your type

Easy Street--just off Difficult Highway

Busy Mom

Numb Lock -- No Esc

Act Along with Larry Derrick -- he needs the work

This Guy's Dead -- just feel him

Not the Foot I Wanted -- picky, picky

Wrong Foot Song -- for toe tapping purposes only

Try these tasty morsels at mealtime, playtime, anytime!   Each one is less than 65 calories and little transfat.  

The Opening (1:00) short

Dont, A Warm Up Wrong Foot (1:04) short

Five Second Rule (1:51) not so short

Spot On (1:53) a little less short

Once a Path, Now a Way to Get Lost (1:51) a little longer

Soothing L'Ocean (1:25) shorter

Russian Bingo (1:15) shorterer

That And (1:12) shortier

On the Wall (2:18) epic by comparison

I Kea, You Kea (2:02) less epic, more umlaut

Outro (:55) small end

When you care about doing what has to be done.  To someone.  You don't know him.  I'm just inquiring for a friend.  You don't know him, either.

Mr. and Mrs. Albert Riccardo Durante 

request the honor

of your presence

at the Nuptial Mass

at which their daughter 

Susette Isabella 

and

Mr. Jeffrey Anthony Allitti-Wilson 

will be united in

the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony 

on the tenth of May 

two thousand twelve 

at five o'clock

in the evening 

St. Joseph's Cathedral

and

Country Club 

109 East Hunter Avenue

Queening Village, NY/NJ

The conclusion of the story, started in EP047.   Hot & Crispy become Hot & Spicy.  The change is not in the name. 

Foster: Do you remember George Burns and Arlene McCoy?  

Tommy Hot: You mean Gracie Allen?

Foster: And ever hear of Peter, Paul and Betsy?

Tommy Hot: No.  What are you getting at?

Foster: Sears and Roebuck?  Actually Sears never changed partners, just got rid of Roebuck.  How about Steve Lawrence and Ingrid Cooper?

Tommy Hot: What are you trying to tell me?

Foster: That sometimes you make a change that might seem unmake able at the time you make it, but in time, it’s like it never evenhappened.  Because the change was for the better.  Gracie Allen better than Arlene McCoy.  Mary, better than Betsy.  Edie Gorme, some people like her.  

Tommy Hot: So …?

Foster: So, Hot and Spicy.

Tommy Hot: Spicy?

Foster: Instead of Hot and Crispy, you’re Hot and Spicy.  

Tommy Hot: Spicy?

Foster: Spicy.  Which goes very well with Hot.

Tommy Hot: Why change his name?  Everyone knows him as Crispy?

Foster: Tommy, the change is not in his name.  The change is in the act.  Arlene McCoy is Crispy.  Edie Gorme is Spicy.  But you’re still Hot.

Tommy Hot: But –

Foster: I know, I mixed up two different acts, however, the point remains.  

Tommy Hot: You mean a different partner?  

Foster: I mean a different partner.

Tommy Hot: You mean, Crispy’s out?

Foster: I mean Crispy’s out.

Talent Agent Foster Valley meets with his favorite ventriloquist partnership, Hot & Crispy, to deliver some news that might make at least one member of the team insecure and the other insignificant.   Part one of two.

Preparing for the meeting:

Foster: Go put your name tag on and finish setting up the chairs, please.

Myrna: Yes, Mr. Valley.  Any particular side you’d like it?

Foster: No, right in front.

Myrna: That could be a problem.

Foster: For who?

Myrna: Well, it’s really not intended to be anything other than fashionable, but you see how my top has a slightly revealing neckline?  

Foster: No.  And we don’t talk about things like that here …

Myrna: Myrna.

Foster: Myrna.  About our clients, yes, because, a revealing neckline, even slightly can make a difference in certain casting opportunities, but not with the staff.  And more importantly, why are you telling me this?

Myrna: Because putting it right in front here would mean it would have to be partially on my chest skin.

Foster: Chest skin?  What are you talking about?

Myrna: The location of my name tag.  For it to be right in front, means, it goes right here on the skin on my chest part.

Foster: I was thinking about the chair.  Not the name tag.  The chair goes right in front.  Of me.  Of my desk.  So that I can look Tommy right in his eyes.  The name tag you can put on the side.  Of your chest part skin.

Hey!

Throw the Hammer--Hey!

Got Any 3s?--Hey!

Fix the Appliance--Hey!

Her Financial Affairs--Hey!

Skim the Cheese--Hey!

Your Name Bank--Hey!

Lift Something--Hey!

Credits--Hey!

Hold Up the Line--Hey!

Talent Agent Foster Valley leaves no stones unturned in his quest to find work for his stable of talented artists, but sometimes getting a foot in the door can be painful. 

Larry Derrick, Johnny Lang.   Two names worth remembering or changing.  Whatever works best.

Opening: In

Look Who Just Walked In -- social climbing

Man, Man -- Man!

I'd Be Lying -- and you are.

Johnny Tastes It -- guess what it tastes like

Hobnobbin' -- R U Hobnobbin'?  I'm just askin'   And I have all these apostrophie'

HummersParade:  Hmm, hmm, hmmm, humm.

Closing: Out

A breathless collection of briefs.  No, not your underwear drawer.  Ten (10) fast, little buggers, one right after another, like a torrent of bits, but not a bit torrent.  In our easy-to-listen-to ten pack format.  An assortment!  Do I have to keep explaining?  By the time you finish reading this you could have heard it all!  Let's go!  This podcast won't listen to itself, you know!

Count 'em down ...

Intro

(A) Perfect Excuse (2:05)

(I Think This is the) WrongFoot (1:53)

AssFault (1:57)

Bendex (1:02)

Bob Cancer is the Transactor (2:05)

Can Scans (0:54)

Closer (1:28)

Collating (0:49)

Congressional Record Scans (1:32)

Conversations Near the Bowling Store (1:18)

Creditors 

Music theme from AudioNautic.com  

I'm a rip saw for ya baby, I'm gonna cut across your grain.

I said, I'm a rip saw baby, gonna cut across your grain.

Gonna show you how you hurt me and  

Caused me all kind of pain.  (And discomfort.  Make sure you wash that wound.  And stay away from my tools!)

For lack of one, the report was loose.

It's Opening Day, so let's step up to the plate and hit the inside corner, then turn two, before we take one for the team and lay one down or in the case of Mamie Vanderwoorst, lay them all down.  Then you're not going to believe what happens next, but we have a recording to prove it.  It's America's Pastime.  Podcasting, that is.  Let's hear two!

Even a blind squirrel is wright twice a day!

Everybody says the bird is the word, but what does the bird say?

The Very Best Knockworst … your first choice for the best in worst … presents the Lunchtime Playhouse, a daily drama to enjoy, while you’re enjoying the Very Best.  Sit down, tuck in your napkin and take a bite, then enjoy this afternoon’s presentation, “He Who Knocks Last, Knocks Worst.”

Mack gives up half of his computing power for the hand held devise he loves.  And in the end, he is less than the sum of his and her parts combined.  Sort of a self-inflicted obsolescence, you could say.  

He was born a personal notebook computer from a small town in another part of the world, she got him at 25 percent discount.  As soon as he arrived, it was clear things were different.  Soon they were inseparable.  Love with a wireless connection, if you don't count the router.  It meant the end for her former companion.  How would he take it?  How would you?  

Wrong Foot Dr. Soos--badtime reading.

Irv's Croutons--they're small, crispy and belong on your salad, not mine.

S'what, It's Nice--a good attitude or not.

Slightly Self-Conscious--this song fills time, I mean takes time, I mean keeps time.

Eff Co.--don't expect them to hope you have a nice day.

Pass the Fish--only on the left.

Quid Pro Quo--Go Pro!

Outro

We visit some good old stuff.   At least, that's what they told me.

Intro

Tats

The King

Coin-a-Phrase

Extend-a-Dream

Credits

Spoiler alert:  everything is spoiled.  

Things are both coming to a head and an end, putting Tracker smack in the middle of the mess.  The more he learns the more he realizes the lesson is lost.  Nountown is not hospitable for any kind of growth, certainly not intellectual and probably not agricultural.  It was time for Tracker to stop sowing and start to reap a little.  After he changed his beaten-up clothes and put on some practical shoes.  Of course, he didn't expect to get back in that Buick.  But once he did, he began to figure out where to go and who to see.  And where to stand so the light hits his upper torso just so.   Just so Delicacy and her Mom can get a good look at him.  

Shoeless, Ray Tracker gets taken for a ride, but can’t enjoy the view, even though his tour guides -- two mugs named Buttercup and Corncob -- are full of tidbits.  He winds up somewhere in the country where he has to make like Houdini and little bit like Captain America in order to make his own tracks.  In bare feet, no less!  Until he make friends with a little girl who has what he needs to find his way back.  Kitchen appliance … check.  Healthy lunch … check.  Cross-country golf shoes … check.  So, shut up, Buttercup!  And drive!  Then chip.  Then putt for a par 3.  

Things are getting uncomfortable.  Tracker loses the only friend he thought he might have had, but not before he gets a lesson in why small things mean so much in Nountown.  It’s tiny trees.  Any tiny cops.  But big beautiful women.  And the people who help them stay that way.  Like Flo, whose foundation shop might be a false front.  Why else would a couple of unsavory sorts more commonly found in a line-up be frequenting it?  Tracker is no stranger to odd numbers, but these are Full Figures.

It’s all about real estate.  Land, that is, as Tracker goes undercover to uncover where the boundaries lie that separate the have’s from everyone else in Nountown.  He finds Pat Dab, a baleful broker of square footage with his boy-size fingers on the pulse of the local leases, licenses and liens. Tracker’s guise is a need for retail space, which is sure to result in a tour of properties.  Pat passes him to his trusted peon, Flip Gap.  Gap licks his little lips in anticipation of a juicy deal, but Tracker plays him like a fife and then gives him the slip.  Thank Dab, it’s Friday.  In this case, Friday is who, not when.  You’ll see, if you hear this.

Tracker gets a lay of the land and the land returns the favor.  His marching orders take a turn off the road, but his shoes are polished and that produces a spitting image he can trust.  Or can he?  Not if the image is that of Delicacy Smoke, a woman who seemed to thrive on driving fast American cars and letting her fingers do the speaking.  ‘Come hither,’ they said.  But Tracker was more in the mood for yon.  And some grub.  Find out if he finds either as he ventures up and down Mistake Mountain.

Tracker gets his assignment.  No surprise, it’s in a place called Nountown.  Otherwise, this would be a place called Something Else.  Nountown is a place he’s never been.  Not many have.  Most never come back.  Tracker had no plans of doing that.  He had little plans at all.  Flying blind, he took his orders and soon entered a world that seemed to be hard to define, unless you knew where to look it up.  Tracker knew.  At least he thought he knew.  Then he met Winston Smoke, a man who seemed to thrive on life support and spoke of evil and danger and roots.  Oh, yes, roots.  There would be plenty of them.  But we’re getting ahead of ourselves and that’s what you say when you want to start in the beginning.  When Tracker gets his assignment.  He has to ‘find the evil’ and no, it’s not between evident and eviscerate.  Or is it?

Welcome to Nountown.  Now go home.  Yeah, it’s not the most welcoming place you’ve ever been, but one thing is certain.  In Nountown, nothing is certain.  Maybe Arthur Certain.  He’s the cab driver who drove Raymond G. Tracker to this place that was neither here nor there.  But for Tracker, it would be there for a while.  As long as his assignment lasted.  His assignment?  It wasn’t clear.  All he knew or at least thought he knew was that he was looking for something, but what it was or who it was or where it was, well, that remained to be seen, met and visited.  Sounds confusing?  Put yourself in his shoes.  While he still has them on his feet, that is, because if you think you got off on the Wrong Foot, wait till you hear what happens to him.  And his feet.

If you listen to for the next nine weeks you will.  Each week, things get more and more complicated and somehow at the end it all makes … for an exciting journey.

Before you really get going, take this preview tour of Nountown, but make sure you don’t let it get to you before you get to it.  It is the ultimate noun, isn’t it?  It is Nountown.  

It all starts Wednesday, aka, The Day After Tomorrow.  Nountown.  

Who's there?

Winston Smoke, who always gets what he wants, even when he doesn't.

Squinty, who spits, shines and spits some more.

Raymond G. Tracker, who has to get out of the way, else he's going to have to explain those tiny stains on his shoes.

And you.  If it's not too much to ask.

It's all football today as we close out the calendar year with our very own Wrong Foot Bowl game featuring a number of people's favorite Takers of the Toll, Rocky and Roger who play out their fantasies football-wise on the road, while they stay inside their booths.

Also:  special previews of the upcoming 9-part mini-series, Nountown!  

Absorbing at the Home Show—an ode to those guys who wear those headset microphones and won’t take ‘I already bought six’ for an answer

Firm Spot—they’re all paying for it, right?

Mrs. Berger Goes to the Doctor—with a pained expression 

Firm Receptionist—leave a message and a pleaFirm Spot (Lawfirm ad)

Daddy Dropped Something—and he doesn’t want to pick it up

Preview

Pant or Loon?--Pant!

Bob Nugent--Bob Nugent?

Pant or Mime?--Pant!  PANT!

Stump the Mouse, Part 2: Mouse Found and Lost--When the irreplaceable little star has an unfortunate accident his handlers hustle to find a reasonable facsimile and in the end the long-shot plan comes through.  

BullitPoint--High Caliber Presentations

Outro & Credits

Bueller's Other Day--imperfect attendance.

It Came I Saw--wood I lie?

That Feeling, That Filing--an early recording of Stump.

Meet Stump the Mouse--'Mouse Lost and Found'.  First of two parts.  You loved him on the silver screen in 'Stump Goes Native' and 'Stump It Up', on your lunch box in 'Stump the Mouse Lunch Box', on your breakfast cereal in 'Stump Lumps', but not in gutter, for god's sake.  Nevertheless, this little rodent knows how to make the girls squeal and the guys watch where they step.  You never know what's going to happen next with this whiskered wonder kind, unless you listen. 

Preview

Let Snot Argue--let's try walking it off

The Missouri Compromise--history in the making

First Day--it's a job, Ma and everyone is being really, really nice

Johnny Takes a Test--Johnny: What did you get for number three?  Johnny: What did you get for number three?

Herpes--get the gift card!

Johnny Takes Pills--we're self-medicating

Once a Path, Now a Way to Get Lost--history in the walking

That And--what you get for the money

Basik Karpentry--when Swedes use tools, things get built

Outros & Credits

All hail the Merchant of Ridgedale!  And nothing else.

All the world's a mall, so in honor of the up-coming holiday shopping season stampede, let's revisit the time Foster Valley had a gig for actor Richard Desmond that should have been a great fit, but almost inspired Richard Desmond to give up sew business.  It's a lot of hemming, but little hawing as the Bard meets his tailor.  Did Richard become a big (and tall) man about it or did the classically-trained thespian leave everyone in stitches?   

Previews

Big Trees are Falling--they've been axed again and again.

O Oh Owe--indebtedness

I Kea, You Kea--ripped from the catalog

That Explains It--this clip explains it

Foster Talent: Star Grazing 4--in which Foster Valley scrambles, cajoles, hornswoggles, pleads and asks nicely so that Lydia Linda Lorna gets the appropriate exposure and the food stays warm.  

Soothing Lotion--Ahhhhh!

Outros & Credits

Preview

The Keys to the Wrong Foot--are on a chain of events.

Numb Lock--love qwerts.

On the Wall--catch the buzz.

It's Titillating--but watch out.

Foster Talent: Star Grazing 3--Foster Valley doesn't chicken out, he negotiates the crap out of a deal with some tough cookie and then makes sure it hits the fan.

Boots--these boots are made for the sole purpose of strolling in style, I'm here to say.

Outros/Credits

Previews

(I Think This is the) Wrong Foot--what else could it be?

One Good Eye One Bad Eye--a kid's story told.

Guess What I'm Thinking--if you do, you don't have to listen.

Bendex--Bendex?

Foster Talent: Star Grazing 2—-Foster Valley spills the beans over lunch with Lydia Linda Lorna about the opportunity he had for her.  Lydia doesn't like beans.

Outros

It's a Four-Parter!  Three entrees and desert.

In this episode we begin another show biz mini-series saga and this time it's delicious.  Foster Valley has an interesting opportunity for Lydia Linda Lorna.  They used to call her the day after Tuesday Weld.  It's been a while since she was in the public's eye, so it's important that he presents her with the right project.  His plan is to take her to lunch, make her feel special and lay it on her. 

Here's the line-up:

Previews

Look What Happened to My Wrong Foot—what happened to your wrong foot?

The King—is surrounded by towns and sycophants

Foster Talent: Star Grazing Part 1—Talent agent Foster Valley wants to take his loveliest client to lunch so he can serve up what he thinks is good news.

Mr.French Goes to the Doctor—who serves bad news.

Wedding Guests—gift rapping, but it's their thoughts that count.

Outros/Credit

Preview

Wrong Fook Wrong Foot—deliver us from confooshun

Daddy Dropped Something—and he doesn’t want to pick it up

The Happy Hotspice: Final Words Again—what was the last thing I said?

Sleep Replaced By Words—‘slumber

Outros and Credits

In this PodBlast from the PodPast we present our first collection of old things, because some of you may be new to the Wrong Foot.  If you have heard it before, hear it again and you'll probably hear things you didn't hear the first time.   

Wrong Foot Song--you could be dancing.

Giant Check Bank--you could be cashing.

House of Tongs--you could be grasping.

Nom de Grom--you can't do anything right.

Preview

Shetland Wrong Foot--old bag pipes

Congressional Record Scans--put your speech on the belt

Flaymore & Branagin & Willoughby & Trellman & Flaggner-Brown--names to remember

The Happy Hotspice--How it came to be

Eggnogging--R U Eggnogging?

Outros

Preview—In honor of our tenth episode, we give you ten of these things, no, not toes.

Hello Tim—could be a Wrong (Foot) number

Colating—at your own risk

Flehm—something smells as good as it looks

Angry Looking—a diagnosis

Easy Street—the grass is always greener, unless the worm turns

Act Along With: Larry Derrick!—here’s your chance to co-star with a real actor

Kens Keyboards—so qwerty, it’s asdfgh

Sleep in Overrated—one opinion

Outros/Credits

Previously—a brief look back at Foster Valley to get you ready you for a three piece suit

Preview

WrongFoot Navy—an honor to serve

Marshall Brody—Western theme

Foster Talent: Larry Derek Part 1—Foster gives a client a chance to get some exposure

Spraythewalk—no spaces tween words means itz what it iz

Alcapulco Accapella—the sea, the surf, the sound of the 50s

Foster Talent: Johnny Lang—Foster gives a newcomer the time of day

Foster Talent: Larry Derek Part 2—A client gives Foster a piece of his mind, 10%.

Sheriff Wilson—another Western theme

Outros/Credits

A Special One Time Thing 

Spend a little more time with Roger and Rocky of the Tolls before they drive off.

They explain some of the mysteries about podcasts in Roger and Rocky Explain Podcasts, which also includes another Wrong Foot Promo Preview.  Then you'll hear Roger's debut as a non-toll taking actor in the first of many Act Along Withs …, our interactive feature where you get to interact along with our talented cast.  

They say their lines and you say yours, following along in the 'Act Along With …' script that came with the Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast membership kit.  Give it a try.  Who knows, maybe someday, someone will act along with you?

Listen, learn and act along.  It's fun.  Plus there are some hidden treats.

Next week, a new Toll-Free WFCP.  

Previously—a look back at the Toll Guys before we close their series

Preview

Not the Foot I Wanted—not the foot he wanted

A Perfect Excuse—for anything

A Number of People Talking—five, we think

We Take Tolls: When the Change Melts—In the last installment of this mini-series, Rocky makes his getaway plan by cutting through corporate red tape, while Roger goes with gelt.

Outros/Credits

Preview

Sound Reasoning—a very high koo

Absorbing at the Home Show—an ode to those guys who wear those headset microphones and won’t take ‘I already bought six’ for an answer

Firm Spot—they’re all paying for it, right?

Beefboullion—R U Beefboullion?

We Take Tolls: When EZ First Passed—Rocky reminisces about the day every thing changed with the change

Firm Receptionist—leave a message and a plea

Outros/Credits

Preview

Maraca Vamps on Her Wrong Foot—Who doesn’t like Maracas?

Foster Talent: Biff is Happy But…-Our most favorite talent agent Foster Valley meets with his old associate Happy Tooman who has an idea for a project Foster won’t like, in which there's a role Happy shouldn’t play.

Hobnobbin’—R U Hobnobbin’?

Toasting Bread—Who doesn’t like toast?

Extend-a-Dream—Keep your eyes shut and nobody gets hurt

Outros/Credits

Here's another sweet little excerpt for you and yours.

Start Tappin' Your You-Know-What's!

Previews

The Wrong Foot Song—you need to sing it

The Wrong Foot Song, Music by K. MacLeod, Lyrics by W. Foot

If your foot is wrong,
You need to sing this song.
You need to take a chance.
And refinance … your mortgage.

Remember, if you dare
And have no underwear,
Just wear a tiny thong
And sing the Wrong Foot Song.

The Wrong Foot Song is brief.
It gives you full relief
Just take it from a guy
Who has a 30-day supply ...

So make your wrong foot right
And party every night.
Just treat your feet …
And sing the Wrong Foot Song!

The second time sing:

Set your wrong foot free!
So everyone can see. 
And tell them when they Tweet,
You made some progress with your feet.

Don’t give up the fight, 
Make your wrong foot right.
Out-put that foot
And sing the Wrong Foot Song!

Can Scans—check it out

House of Tongs—get a grip

This Guy's Dead—body of evidence

We Take Tolls: We Take Tolls—Roger and Roger take tolls, take after take on their own reality show

Outros/Credits

We're at the old ballgame today, but while it's raining, you can listen to this:

• A Preview.
• R U Hungry—someone to chew on
• Coin-a-Phrase—make sense with change
• Cinema 65—worth the senior discount
• We Take Tolls: Welcome to Exit 21—Roger and Rocky are forced to care about your passing
• Ring Tone—you don’t have to answer it
• See Me?—shouldn’t have answered it, but maybe it’s the Suicide Squeeze Prevention Line
• Outros/Credits.

Get a taste of the Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast with this easy to swallow Promo Preview.  

Previews

You’ve Come to The Wrong Foot—right?

Spot On—laundry patter

Foster Talent: Merchant of Ridgedale Part 1—we meet talent agent Foster Valley and he has a gig for actor Richard Desmond that should be a great fit

Mrs. Berger Goes to the Doctor—with a pained expression

Foster Talent: Merchant of Ridgedale Part 2—will Richard Desmond give up sew business?

AssFault—a product offer you can’t refuse

Outros/Credits

Previews
Meeting Wrong Foot—let’s get started, if we can
(Show Me Your) Tats—and let’s make a deal
We Take Tolls: First Down, Fifty Cents to Go—Rocky shows Roger it’s a passing game
The Rip Saw Blues—a How-to recording session
Outros/Credits
Coda

This first episode is something else.  And so are all the rest.  Listen up and you'll hear:

 Previews

 World’s Fastest Wrong Foot—a racy opening

 Nom de Grom—Grandma who?

 Giant Check Bank—just too big to fold

 We Take Tolls: Icing on the Cupcake—meet Rocky & Roger, they take tolls

 Wrong Foot the Bill—how to run out on things

 Outros/Credits